Saturday, August 18, 2012

Calling Out My People: Start Exploring

It's not for the weak
This has to be said.  Black people, it's time to get out of the black box and enjoy new experiences.  Ladies, just get over it.  You may sweat a little, but physical activity and new challenges are a great reason to jump on board the natural movement that is sweeping the hood by storm.  Fellas, you may talk a lot of crap playing Madden 13 online, but how about taking a few hits on a paintball field to test your manhood.  For those faithful to Groupon and Living Social, you already know where this is going.

There is a ton of fun stuff to do, both indoors and outdoors, and white people have known this for quite some time!  Now don't get me wrong, this isn't a black versus white rant and I am in no way degrading any race, but the truth is, the black community has traditionally labeled outdoor and extreme activities as stuff only "crazy white people" do.  Truth be told, the activities don't discriminate, only the participants.  So I am officially retiring that excuse for all of my fellow black Americans.

J, swooping in
Now that I have cleared up this misconception for all of my brothers and sisters, we can now move forward.  The moment sites like Groupon started popping up, business owners with at least 2 acres of land began cashing in on outdoor offerings.  Oddly enough, many have been in the business of outdoor fun for more than 20 years like Kersey Valley Zipline in Highpoint, North Carolina, so this reinforces my point that it's nothing new - the black community simply didn't have an interest.  

Okay, I'm done with my black people beat down.  

I simply want to encourage everyone to take advantage of physical activity.  You'd be surprised what a quick Google search will yield when you type in search terms like paintball, rock climbing, outdoor laser tag, cart racing, rafting and ziplining and you'll be even more shocked to see just how much attention is placed on your personal safety.  The reality is, we do things every day that could spell our demise, yet we carry on throughout our day without once giving it any thought.  All it takes is one object in the floor and the edge of a dresser to end it all before you have even had a chance to taste the nastiness of your own morning breath.  So why not soar at speeds over 30 miles per hour 70 feet above the earth on a steel cable mounted to telephone poles that are strong enough to split cars car in half in roadside accidents.  I guarantee you'll be nervous on the first two zips then geeked up on your last 8!

If this article offends you, it's probably because you are black and another black person just called you out on your lack of willingness to try explore new things.  If you are white and this offends you, I'm actually not compelled to apologize because ya'll have been enjoying this kind of stuff for years and I am jealous that I didn't start exploring new physical activities sooner.

Bonus Content
Fellas, ladies love the adventurous type so why not use this to your advantage and you'd be shocked to know that most women are typically down to give it a go at least once.  So instead of rehashing your whack game just invite a woman to go rock climbing at an indoor climbing center.  Not only do you get a chance to bond, but that harness puts a frame on that booty that you just have to see to believe!  

Ladies, if you think your man is a punk, you can quickly find out in a nice game of woodsball [paintball].  If he balls up like a 90's R&B singer in an antique bathtub the first time those balls whiz past his head at 300 feet per second or cries like a little #$&#$ when he gets that first bruise all I have to say is, "if he looks like a #)@$^, cries like a @$^#*^, he's probably a #$%@#."

I would like to thank you for your undivided attention.  That is all.  

Disclaimer:  The views expressed in this article are solely those of J.  J is black.  Steve has nothing to do with J's views or his blackness.

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