Sunday, March 31, 2013

G.I. Joe Retaliation: The Real Review

Let me preface this entire post by stating - on the record - that I was a fan of G.I. Joe Rise of Cobra.  Even with all it's flaws and over the top antics, I enjoyed Cobra's technology versus the Joe's bullets and bayonets.  That said, I absolutely hated G.I. Joe Retaliation and the more I think about it, the more I wish I would have just waited it out until it reached the Red Box.

What Every Man Should Know About: Tyler Perry's Temptation

While sulking in my disappointment over GI Joe:Retaliation at a bar I got a text from my homegirl about joining a group for a midnite Temptation showing and since I was at the bottom of my glass the only direction was up, right?

Without stating the obvious about this chick-flick, there were a few good take-aways for us fellas in Tyler Perry's Temptation: Confession of a Marriage Counselor so I made a few #Note2self's that I'll hopefully keep in mind during my future matrimony:

#Note2self 1) Talk Listen to your woman. I got the impression that Brice (Lance Gross) stopped talking listening to Judith (Jurnee Smollett-Bell) a long time ago. He was in his own Brice world where everything was honky dory because there wasn't any conflict in the marriage. "..... Men marry women hoping they'll stay the same" - unknown. Do. Not. Let. This. Be. You!

Spoof Review: G.I. JOE - RETALIATION

I just can't do it. No review. My birth year will not let me talk $h!t about this movie but it had too many wrongs and not enough rights. Just 1 right to be exact which was correcting the continuity issue of G.I. Joe: The Movie c. 1987. Otherwise, my youthful and grandiose expectations for Retaliation were just too high to meet. Ok, 2 rights. I got to see my favorite Joe, Roadblock (Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson), kick ass for 2 hours 30 minutes but between the RZA succeeding the Hard Master (Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow's mentor) and the 90 min of lull in the middle of the movie #iCant.

There is redemption though!

Sunday, March 17, 2013

What Every Woman Should Know About: Oz the Great and Powerful

Mostly everyone is familiar with the story of The Wizard of Oz, right? Ok, now tell me how it all started: Who is Oz and how did the Witch from the West become so wicked? Don't know? I'll tell you. Oz was a playa from Kansas that turned out Theodora, a good witch, into the wicked one from the west side. Right there on the big, silver screen I saw the viscious cycle of good girl plus bad boy equals witch. Now I'm not woman bashing and I know a man telling women "what they should know" is thin-ice territory but just hear me out on this one because this is actually more about me men than women.

Sideshow magician Oscar "Oz" Diggs blew out of Kansas and into the Land of Oz while bouncing from one woman to another. Ever the opportunist, Oz does the same old song and dance when he meets Theodora, a good witch who didn't fly on a broom. And Theodora, believing that Oz is the prophesied Wizard to free the Land of Oz and the Emerald City from the "wicked witch", declares herself Oz's queen because of who she thinks he is - an actual wizard. But as Oz meets the other witch sisters of Oz, Evanora and Glinda, Theodora's jealousy drives her to take relationship advice from her single (#ShotsFired) sister, Evanora, resulting in a broken heart and turning her into the Wicked Witch of the West.